jeudi 7 juillet 2011
As I was walking home from the metro station a few nights ago, a man passes me in his car, and does a double-take. I don't think much of it, and continue on my way. I saw him park his car, and then he got out and ran up to me. He said I was so beautiful, so I said thanks. (Didn't know what to say/do. Nothing? Smile?)

He noticed my accent and right away starts in on the where are you from -America. Oh I was in New york several years ago for three months... blah blah blah.
He says I must give him my cellphone number, we must go have a drink together.
I tell him I am married.
That doesn't matter, love isn't guaranteed, things can change, etc.
I try to continue on my way but he grabs me and starts doing the bises..
I still try to get away and he is following me.
I finally say I will take his number (to try and end the conversation) but don't have a pen. He then says to put his number in my cellphone, and when I take it out he takes the phone from me and enters his number and then calls himself so that he has my number.
He told me his name and that he is Italian-Spanish. In his thirties I would say. He says that I must be about 23.
I tell him my husband is very jealous and protective of me.
He says that any man would be with me.
He keeps grabbing me and kissing me on the cheeks (but trying for the mouth) but then finally leaves, saying that he didn't even lock his car.

The next two days, all day long, text messages and voice messages from him.
A sampling (spelling and grammer reproduced as-received.) :

Ok beauté je sui dacord d etre ton amie ok

Chaque hommes est unique toi t es unique je sui diferent de tous une femme com toi c est speciale je le resent trop c est enorme megane tu comprend devenons amie deja fesons conaissense ok

Ont boi un coup t as finit le boulo t es ou beautè?

Ok beautè dmain je te fai plein de gros calins choisi la robe qui te plai je te l offre ok

Bjr beautè bien domie cava mieu le roume?

Tu as penssè a moi un peu megane?

Ma cheri cava

Cava beautè gross jounè je dois dèposè les dossiès d un permie de constructions ds l aprè midi je vais faire de la dèmolutions ont a aquis un bien imobiliè tu finita quel h qu ont bois un coup beautè?

Il faud qu ont parle tré serieusement toit et moi beauté!

Tu ser au cing avenu a quel h beautè?

Ont boi un coup beautè dit ma di se soir?

(and the last, after I finally sent a message telling him to stop communicating with me, that I wasn't interested)

Tempie pour toi
Nothing since, so I am hoping it is over.
If he calls again, I'll let Alain answer the phone and give him what-for. That should do the trick.

I don't think he knows where I live (though the general neighborhood), and I don't think he knows my last name. But I will be keeping my eye out for him nevertheless.

Geez 'o flip.

It just illustrates to me how much it is ingrained that one shouldn't make a scene, and not to say an outright "No, I'm not going to give you my number, get away from me." for fear/risk of 'disappointing' him, appearing 8itchy/rude/cold/stuck-up/arrogant, to the point where the man is grabbing you and pressing himself against you. Bleh

Guess I learned a few lessons:
1) Don't engage in conversation;
2) Don't let a man take your cellphone and enter his number;
3) Make sure he doesn't follow you home; and
4) Next time a man grabs you and kisses you on the street, effing scream Megan!

11 commentaires:

Mwa a dit…

Oh no! That is indeed bad brainwashing. I'd have been running away after two sentences. Maybe you should do some role playing with Alain to better cope next time?

deedee a dit…

Maybe tell your story to the police.

Sara Louise a dit…

That is horrible! I think Mwa is right, maybe you should practice a scenario with Alain to help you if heaven forbid something like this happens again.

Starman a dit…

That's downright scary. Too bad you didn't get his license number, but at least you have his phone number, the police should be able to trace him through that. If you do nothing, you're just encouraging his outrageous behaviour.

mike a dit…
Ce commentaire a été supprimé par son auteur.
themikestand a dit…

Holy cow! That is creepy. Hopefully you're recovering well now. Also, that guy just wrote the book on how to NOT make pretty girls like you.

(got the right account now!)

Starman a dit…

Since I read your account with a masher, I have seen men trying to pick up women right in front of me. Two of them were in cars. One guy, on foot, approached a woman sitting at a bus stop next to me. He was very aggressive and I wondered what would have occurred if I had not been there. I've been coming to France for a long time, but I've never seen that kind of behavior.

Michel a dit…

Yikes, that's scary! I think you need to be much more careful of strangers who approach you on the street.

screamish a dit…

jeez...forget your anglosaxon politeness...we are raised as women, too, to be polite and nice, and its unfortunately NOT the way to deal with random men in marseille...sad as it is you cant give them anything...Ive seen it so often with friends of mine, even with their exes, they answer a single phonecall and they end up waking up at 3 am with angry/romantic/drunken/abusive texts...

sad but true...some men are impervious to "no"...

screamish a dit…

ps dont delete his number so you know its him if he tries to call and you can choose not to also might like to change your message to the automatic voicemail voice so he doesnt get a kick from hearing your voice.

also- keep his number in case you ever have problems with him again, for the police...they can find out where he lives from his number

Ava D a dit…

Call the cops !

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