An American in Provence

Stage 1: (0-6 months)
Goal: It has to be perfect.
Budget: Minimum possible. This should work out to about 500€ per room.
Objective: Get to spend lots of quality time with my sweetie.
Things to be done: Absolutely everything. Re-do the walls, tear up the floor and install hardwood floors, consider knocking out a wall or two.
Projected timeline: It should be done in 6 months.

Stage 2: (6 months to one year)
Goal: Well, maybe it won't be perfect but at least it will be how we want it (colors, wallpaper, bathroom tiles, etc)
Budget: Okay, perhaps this will be more expensive than we planned. But we will spend the money for the stuff that is important to us, and cut back in other areas.
Objective: Learning about how to renovate a home- paint, tile, etc.
Things to be done: All the major stuff- walls, kitichen, bathroom, etc. Decide that you can live with the ugly floor tile and will just cover it up with a rug.
Projected timeline: This should be done 1 year-1.5 years

Stage 3: (1 year to 2 years)
Goal: Well; maybe it won't be perfect but it at least it will be done.
Color of blue paint not exactly what we expected? Oh well. We can live with it.
Budget: Yikes, 1500€ for three closet doors? What are they on crack?
Objective: Just want the damn thing done.
Things to be done: Well, let's just do the basics- repaint, etc.
Projected timeline: This can't possibly take much longer.

Stage 4: (2+ years)
Goal: Hope we are still married by the time this renovation is finished.
Budget: Don't care, just pay. Too sick and tired of comparing paint samples, visiting 4 home improvement stores to find a doodad that is 5€ cheaper. Don't even feel like going back to the store to return the wrong item. At this point, what is another 15€?
Objective: Don't kill each other.
Things to be done: Can we go back in time to how it was before we started the renovations and just live with it?
Projected timeline: The renovations are finished or I chew off my arm, whichever comes first.