dimanche 26 février 2012
For Sunday lunch today, Alain and I went to his parent's house, as his sister Lucie, her husband Nicolas, and their 3-year-old Anna would be there. (They were dropping her off at Grandma and Grandpa's for the week of school vacation). Manon was on a train to ski camp, so she wasn't there.
Everytime I see them, these two nieces hurt my feelings. I play with them, read them stories, ask them about their lives, bring them presents they will like. Do they like to sit on my lap? hell no! All they want to do is sit on Alain's lap. He tells them "Why don't you go sit on Megan's lap?" NOooooo!
I can't help it, it upsets me. It's like I am good enough when nobody else wants to play with them, but they can't sit two minutes on my lap without squirming off and running to someone else.
Alain thinks I make too big a deal out of it.
Both Lucie and Nicolas have said that their daughters prefer being with men. They think it is because he was often absent, off with the French army in other countries.
I try not to let it bother me, but it does.
I'm just tired of putting forth the effort only to be reject. Which is stupid, because it's a three year old. But after 6 years of Manon being exactly the same way, I'm tired of it.
I think I need to do some reverse-psychology- everytime Alain asks if they want to sit on my lap, I say "no, no, I don't want them to sit on my lap."
Yes, I know I am being petty.
Should I just not care?
Alain thinks when they are older they won't care about roughhousing with their uncle and will much rather play with makeup, perfumes, nailpolish, etc. with their aunt. But geez. They can't sit on my lap for two minutes after I spend hours reading them stories, playing with Polly Pocket, and all the rest?

3 commentaires:

Starman a dit…

I think this is something you need to address and get over. It doesn't seem like a healthy attitude.

chcmichel a dit…

I agree it is painful to do something nice for these little kids and then they want nothing to do with you. I experience this more often than you might think with my grandkids. They of course want to love me up if they think they are going to get their way with me and I am a soft touch.

A Brilliant Life a dit…

I would try not to take it personally. I am the foreign aunt in my husband's family as well and it sounds like some of your interpretation of this could be possibly connected? Do you think? The kids in my husband's family def have the "wow - she's american" thing going, but for all intents and purposes they really don't try to get to know me. Mostly because I am different and they are kids and it takes a very special kid to #1.) care about anyone other than their immediate needs and #2.)not be put off by someone that is different than everyone else in their life.

But really, why i commented was to telll you that I have two little girls both aged 2 and a half and they LOVE MEN. It is ridiculous and I have ahd nothing to do with this development in them but they absolutley prefer men to women, everytime. Not sure what's up with that as their father is as present as myself, but really it has been that way since they were babies. After reading your post, I am thinking it might just be a little girl thing.

I think it is really sweet that you care so much and that you try to be such a good aunt. Trust me, one day it WILL pay off.

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