mardi 6 mai 2014
Come to an end.
My maternity leave is ending and I return to work on Monday.
Alain will then take his two weeks of paternity leave, then we hand her over to the nounou across the street, for the petty sum of 1000€ a month. Aiee! Nobody ever said having kids made good financial sense.
I have tried to write many times in the past four months, but each time have been unable to organize my thoughts due to a baby needing to be taken care of, fatigue, or just general daze.
We stayed in the hospital for eight days because S. was being treated for jaundice in the néonatal unit. I spent most of my time watching her sleep and thinking, hey this motherhood thing is a piece of cake! Nowhere near as hard as everyone makes it out to be!
(As opposed to now: Hey little girl. Aren't you very very sleepy? Don't you want to take a nice long nap so mommy can take a shower, take a nap, or generally do something non baby related?)
The return home was quite an adjustment, as to be expected. The first couple of weeks, I slept in our extra bedroom next to her crib, as she was usually waking up three times a night, and I didn't want to have to keep climbing up and down the ladder to our mezzanine bed.
After about a month, My parents came for a month, but didn't stay with us. They rented a 'maisonette' about ten minutes walk away. We spent most days hanging out at our apartment, watching S. sleep, holding her, feeding her, changing her.
Easter was spent with Alain's family, and then mom and dad returned home.
She started sleeping through the night a little after that, a bit over two months old.
All in all, she is a happy baby. She now can roll over, lift her head and torso up off the floor, make noise, smile, grab things, and is starting to laugh. She has discovered her fingers, and thinks they are the best things in the whole world.
Alain speaks to her in French, and I speak to her in English, but we haven't yet decided on mommy/maman daddy/papa. I don't like 'maman' but mommy sounds like mami (grandma) in French.
In May we took her to Alain's and my work places to show her off, and everyone was impressed with how calm and happy she was, didn't complain even after being passed around from person to person.
I wish I could post some pictures, but I promised not too. I think she looks a lot like the baby below, only with brown hair and brown eyes.
My mother-in-law showed us some pictures of her as a baby, and S. looks very much like her so far.
So there you have it. All in all, I am happy to have had almost four months off, but I wonder whether it makes returning to work harder. We shall see.
lundi 17 février 2014
Someone had other plans.
Our daughter S. decided to make her appearance weeks ahead of schedule.
(We have decided not to post her full name, birth date, or photos online, at least for now. I will be happy however to email anyone the details)
Thank goodness my suitcase was more or less ready, i had made a copy of my file (one to keep at work, one for home), and we had more or less finished the apartment.
Went to bed the other night and all of a sudden felt and heard a pop!
No water (yet), not really painful, but a pregnancy symptom i had never felt before (which is saying something, since i had almost every one in the book from the drooling to the facial twitching). I told Alain that i felt something pop, but he thought it was nothing. I went online, and sure enough, a lot of women said they felt the same thing, and that the real gushing of water didn't start until later. Um, honey? Think we should go to the hospital just to check. At any rate, it will be a good 'practice run'- see how long it takes, where to turn, where to park.
It took us about 20 minutes to arrive. Checked in at the night desk, they hooked me up to the monitors. Indeed, it was my water that broke, and the contractions were becoming strong and more regular.
I'll spare you the rest of the details, but she arrived a little after six the next morning. A full head of brown hair, eye color- undecided. I say blue, Alain says brown. She weighs 2.56 kg, length 48 cm. Not too small for being a bit before term.
So far, she has been really good, only cries when hungry, and content to just be held. We are staying four days. I am really pleased with the hospital and personnel. Alain went to City Hall to declare her and has been busy fetching and buying last-minute stuff.
She had an ultrasound of her hips performed, since her grandma's Breton side has a history of hip problems. Looks good so far. Also, a minor infection, so she is being treated with antibiotics. She thus has a tiny catheter in her hand, but doesn't seem to mind.
All in all, a sweet, super-cute little French-American! (Or will be, once I go to the US Consulate).
samedi 15 février 2014
One more month... More or less. One more week of work.
I was actually supposed to stop February 4th (six weeks before D-Day) but now French law allows pregnant women to delay their pre-natal rest up to three weeks before, with the doctor's consent. Besides being a bit tired and not sleeping well, I am feeling okay. So i preferred to delay as long as possible, and thus have more time afterwards.
For anyone wondering, I will have 16 weeks, at about 60% pay. Not bad. Better than my job in the US- unpaid leave or vacation, which takes a long time to accumulate at 2 weeks per year!
Baby's room is more or less ready, and my suitcase is packed. We had our first birth preparation class at the hospital a week ago. It was two hours long, and went over labor, when to leave for the hospital, what happens when you arrive, etc. The next one is next Monday, again two hours, going over the actual delivery and the aftermath, and finally, the last session ten days later, how to take care of the baby.
I actually had been seeing an independent mid-wife because it was impossible to get through to the hospital to set the appointments. I was however a bit disappointed with her-individual appointments, difficult to ask questions, and focusing more on visualization (relaxation, imagining the baby in your arms) than the nitty gritty. The sessions were very brief, and she wasn't going to do the whole eight sessions. Alain wasn't allowed to participate either. I finally got fed up and managed to weasle my way in at the traditional classes. I'll go over my allotment of 8 reimbursed sessions, but it is worth it.
So that is that. Five more days of work, then just waiting...
mardi 21 janvier 2014
I think I am entering the 'tired' stage of pregnancy. And no, not just physically tired.
Tired of lying down, tired of sitting, tired of standing, tired of walking
Tired of climbing six flights of stairs to get to work
Tired of heartburn, tired of cramps, tired of being tired
Tired of waiting to see doctors, tired of blood and urine tests, tired of waiting for the results
Tired of paperwork, tired of trying to figure out cryptic insurance coverage brochures
Tired of having to ask people to give up their seats on public transportation, tired of waiting for public transportation
Tired of not being able to have espresso, wine, or tea
Tired of answering the same three questions over and over again (sex, due date, name)
Tired of avoiding answering the same two questions over and over again (normal delivery or cesearian, breast feeding or bottle)
Tired of going to baby stores, tired of hauling baby stuff in and out of the car (in the rain), tired of mounting the baby stuff, tired of organizing baby stuff
Tired of waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, tired of then not being able to fall asleep because of stress
Tired of wearing the same four items every week
Ah well. I guess it all comes with the territory. I am lucky to have had no real problems thus far (knock on wood). Just crabby. Ready (and yet, SO NOT) for the next stage.
samedi 28 décembre 2013
So now, all that remains is the white desk on the left (future changing table?), the exercise bike, and tool boxes. The exercise bike will either be placed in the medium bedroom, or in our bedroom, nder the mezzanine bed.
It's fun not having storage space!
The curtains will probably remain.
At first, we wer going to go with a star theme, but with the eclectic hand-me-downs from family and friends, I don't think it is going to happen.
Oh well, the baby won't care.
Now need to gather the items (mainly from his sister, who luckily had two girls) and figure out what we need to buy.
I wish I could just pay someone to organize and clean our apartment, and then prepare the baby's room, especially since all I want to do is sleep and am entering the "I feel like a hippo" phase.
vendredi 27 décembre 2013
She's a rebel and she'll never never be any good...
Tough. That's marriage. If he objects, I'll take it down, but at least I will have proved that the world hasn't come to an end. (Nor the paint job damaged)
We've lived here for seven years.
Seven years I've been trying to convince Alain to let me hang up some pictures and paintings on the precious walls!
Yes, I know a lot of work was put into making them smooth. Heck, I spent weeks removing wallpaper and washing gunky glue off the walls, after which he put a smooth coat on, sanded, and painted.
Finally, couldn't take it any more. Used a special, non paint damaging adhesive sticker with hook and hung up two items, one of which you see here.
Alain used to be really into photography, taking black and white photos and developing them himself. Well, this is one of them. Up on the wall it went.
samedi 21 décembre 2013
After months of waiting, she is finally here...
Who did you think I was talking about?
Yesterday afternoon we went to the Marché aux Santons by the Vieux Port. I was determined to get an elephant this year. We wandered around the stands, pushing small children out of the way (and alas, no vin chaud this year) and finally chose the style we wanted (not that much choice actually).
Fifteen euros, not bad.
So now we have Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the three wise men, a donkey, a camel, and an elephant. One figurine for each year we have been together.
My mom bought me this baby bib crosstitch kit for my birthday. It arrived as a pattern printed with disappearing ink on the bib, along with chart and floss. It took me a few days to do. I haven't washed it yet to remove the ink, but will do so soon. It is perfect for our little frog. However, I don't think it will be getting much actual use as a baby bib.
dimanche 15 décembre 2013
Sorry, not trying to turn this into a "mommy blog" but right now it's about all I have to write about.
(Picture of a "baby bouquet", a gift from excited grandparents-to-be. Baby stuff - onesies, bib, hat, and socks - wrapped up to form rose heads, and the whole wrapped up in a baby blanket, tied with a ribbon.)
Had the official second trimester ultrasound a few weeks ago, and the doctor said "girl". We have a name picked out, but are keeping it to ourselves for the time being.
Still haven't had the energy on the weekends to shovel out the small bedroom. Need to get on that, and preferably before the sales in January.
Not planning on decorating the nursery too much.
Will be starting the birth preparation classes soon, I decided to go with a midwife who lives right by us. Of course, the classes are only during working hours, so I need to take time off from work. Right now, I am hoping to work until the end of February, three weeks before the due date, then take 13 weeks off afterwards. We'll see how I feel in two months time though....
Otherwise, heartburn galore, going to the bathroom every 30 minutes, and stomach-lurching interior acrobatics. I can see the baby moving from the outside now... Very strange.
mardi 5 novembre 2013
A few months ago we bought a book "les plus beaux prénoms de filles" to get some ideas. Most of the names were pretty good, and we have picked one, a secret for now.
But others just made me wonder, why on earth were they included?
A sampling of the worst:
Aglaé
Agnès - just no
Aldegonde
Annaïg
Benoîte
Berthe - bertha. Seriously?
Bertille
Béryl
Cannelle - cinnamon in french. No, that won't cause teasing
Clotilde
Didon
Edmonde
Edwige - i think it has been established that "ed" names are not for girls
Ethel - sure. A 100 years ago.
Eunice
Gabon
Gertrude
Gilberte - feminized version of gilbert
Gladys
Gudrun
Gudule
Guillaumette- feminized version of guillaume
Hagar
Hedwige
Hermance
Hortense
Huguette
Klervie
Leopoldine
Louison
Ludmille
Mafalde
Mildrède- bad in any language
Olfa
Ombelin
Pascaline
Paulette
Pervenche
Raymonde
Roberte
Séphora - so-so, except name of very popular cosmetics/fragrance store
Sergine
Uranie
Ursuline
Vanille
Vitaline
Most of these names very followed by the comment "infrequently attributed in France presently". Oh really? Wonder why that is?
So if you had to pick one of the above names for yourself or daughter, what would it be?
vendredi 25 octobre 2013
I stopped by H&M after work to check out their maternity section. Not that I actually need any maternity clothes yet, but I wanted to see what they had. Besides some pants with elastic waistlines, it seems like most maternity shirts are simply "bigger than what you would normally wear". Anyway, couldn't resist a set of six onesies ( or "bodies" as they are called in French). I love dad, I love mum, I love mum& dad, mum&dad, plain white, plain black. No idea for what age of they baby they are supposed to fit.
Been looking at the list of recommended baby stuff, and it is quite astonishing. Six pjs for 1 month old, six pjs for 3 months, six pjs for 6 months, and six pjs for 1 year. Do they really just live in their pjs? I am ready to believe it, since they sleep for what, 19 hours a day? Maybe it just isn't even worth dressing them for the 30 minutes they are awake at a time.
Wish I could live in my pjs. Oh wait, I do.
Or is it just that the pjs get so covered in vomit and other stuff that at least half are in the wash at any given time? This is something I am also quite ready to believe since when we met with potential nannies, they all seemed to have two washing machines.
In fact, I am ready to believe about anything about babies right now. Their ear hair grows three times as fast as adults', and needs to be trimmed weekly with gold-plated scissors? Uh, okay sure.
samedi 19 octobre 2013
I think Phase 1 is officially over, and that I am now safely in Phase 2. Phase 1 being of course "get away from me, or I'll throw up on you!" And Phase 2 being of course "get away from me, or I'll eat you!"
Though the last time I thought Phase 1 was over, I threw up ten times in two days (the weekend of course) and spent the time between throwing up on the couch with a cool wet washcloth on my forehead. I actually burst blood vessels in my face from throwing up so much, and couldn't even keep down water.
Now, I am hungry all the time. I wake up in the middle of the night because my stomach is rumbling and I have to eat a yogurt. Then I eat breakfast in the morning, again at mid-morning, lunch, an afternoon snack, and dinner. But it's not going anywhere. I keep measuring my waist with a tape measure and there is no change.
I think I have a black hole in my stomach.
Still not sure if it is a girl or a boy, at the last doctor's visit, the little shrimp wasn't cooperating. (Alain calls it crevette in French, because the first ultrasound was when it was still in the C form, like a seahorse. Amazing). Anyway, we have a list of about 8 girls' names and 1 boys' name.
Last night I was lying in bed with my hands on my belly, to see if I could feel movement. (That is, movement other than my stomach rumbling.) I felt a small nudge and thought "oh my god! There is someone in there and they want to get out!" Then I felt a big nudge and yelped in surprise. It was like whoever it is was saying "yes! Let me out!"
Next big ultrasound scheduled for Nov. 12th.
Alain bought me three red roses for three months of pregnancy. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was actually four months. One thing at a time.
mardi 24 septembre 2013
The best thing about being pregnant is that you can blame pretty much anything on it.
See examples-
I'm three days late in handing in my report? Oh gee, I'm so sorry, it must be 'pregnancy brain', plus you know, the fatigue and projectile vomiting....
Oh, please excuse that horrible belch. I'm pregnant you know, and it seems to generate a lot of gas in the intestines.
The worst thing of course is that pretty much everything gets blamed on it.
See examples-
Honey, the reason you are mad I am three hours late for dinner is because of your pregnancy hormone mood swings.....
Doctor, I think I am having a heart attack!
- No, no, it is nothing, just some acid reflux from your being pregnant.
No, really, I think it is a heart attack.
- Well, if it is, too bad for you, we can't do anything since you are pregnant!
***
Otherwise, the nausea seems to have subsided (for which I am sure I just jinxed myself to six more weeks).
Strangest symptoms thus far - lots of drool and facial twitching. Good grief.
Not even getting any 'perks' yet, such as people giving me their seats on the meteo, but I am twitching and drooling like crazy. Fun times!
dimanche 22 septembre 2013
I couldn't help it, after doing so many crosstitches for other people, I finally did one for me, with a green and white Irish theme. My childhood bedroom had a large black iron four-poster bed, with a canopy. I had fake ivy winding up the posts, with lace enclosing three sides, green and white sheets, and pillows, cushions, and curtains with an ivy-and-lace theme. I loved it.
Anyway, here are some photos.
She is holding a four-leaf clover, which was not easy to do.
It doesn't look as nice when it isn't stretched and framed, but oh well. It isn't like I was going to hang it up in our bedroom, which leads Alain to ask, what's the point of doing it?
Men. They just don't understand.
I can't wait to do one for our daughter (assuming it is a daughter) but first we need to decide on a name. I'll probably wait a few years anyway, and let her choose the colors and style.
Little girls are so much fun!
I bought a baby name book yesterday and have been browsing a few sites. Truthfully, there is too much choixe nowadays.
And people put so much emphasis on names.
Maybe we will just name her Mildred and be done with it.
jeudi 5 septembre 2013
We are moving back to the United States!!!
No. Not really.
We are having a baby!
Yes, really.
It is due March 20th 2014 by the French way of calculating due dates, March 13th by the American way.
So far, the doctor thinks it is a girl, but isn't sure.
We have absolutely no idea for a name. Any suggestions welcome, preferably not starting with P.
Had really bad nausea throughout the month of August, making life difficult for me and uncomfortable for everyone else, including coworkers.
By the way, who ever knew that having a baby was so complicated? It is like organizing a space launch.
I am pre-enrolled for a hospital, right across from my work, but don't have the confirmation yet.
I have sent in some of the official forms, and we have to wait until six months before requesting a place in the city daycare. (Which are so in-demand, good luck getting a spot. And yet, France wants women to have more children. Maybe make it easier for the kids to be taken care of, and women will)
Ah well. One thing at a time I guess, starting with not throwing up.
jeudi 22 août 2013
Our vacuum recently decided to permanently retire. We can't complain too much, Alain's parents gave it to us for free when we set up household eight years ago.
It seems though that we are at the point where everything needs to be replaced- steamers, hot water pots, hot water bottles, pots and pans, mattresses, pillows, sheets, towels. I guess everything has an eight-year programmed replacability, or whatever the official term is.
We didn't use it much, would usually sweep first, vacuum up the pile of sweepings, and then mop. (And usually not more than once a month. Whoops)
So Alain was tasked with going to Carrefour one saturday and buying a new one, since obviously it would probably be difficult to find a repair place and probably cost more than it is worth.
Yes, I let him go chose our new vacuum alone as I was indisposed and well, let's face it, he is usually the one to do the floors.
He complains more doing it, and is apt to vacuuming up gold bracelets and the like (no matter how many times I ask him to not vacuum the tops of furniture) but does a better job at it. I help though, running around getting everything off the floor, preparing the mop, and fishing things out of the vacuum bag.
So anyway, the new vacuum is on the right (but you could probably tell that already). It is small and light, which is perfect for our needs. We lost the attachment thing long ago, so maybe now with the new one, we will sweep less.
It's been an exciting summer.
mardi 16 juillet 2013
Here is a picture of my office. It is on the sixth floor (Americans: seventh) of a building with nine (Americans: ten) floors. It is on one of main streets of Marseille, not far from the center of town and the beaches. The desk was recently installed, and I am very pleased with it. Before, I had one large table and one computer workstation, a small unstable desk just large enough for the computer screen and I couldn't put my legs under it because of a shelf, I guess to put a printer on.
mardi 11 juin 2013
Saturday morning, Alain and I dragged ourselves out of bed at 7 am and drove to Toulon for our niece's first communion. She goes to a Catholic school, even though they aren't particularly Catholic, and I guess Saturday was the semi-annual mass baptism/ first communion. Alain is her godfather. It was a bit difficult choosing a present as we were told 'no jewelry' (from the school) plus 'no christian stuff' (from his sister). Hum.
Alain finally went to a bookstore and bought a fictional girl's diary from some uprising in France in the 1870's and "Dictionnaire des rebelles". Good ol' anti-establishment frenchisms.
We got to the church around ten, and met up with both sets of grandparents. It was a modern church, which I didn't really like. Packed with people. Alain's sister said we would have to 'do something' unspecified. It turns out we didn't have to do anything at all other than stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, kneel, stand up, sit down, the usual.
Man, she adores her uncle.
No pictures allowed during the ceremony, but after it was over we snuck back in and took some pictures in front of the altar, until the nuns starting cleaning up around us.
Afterwards, we went back to their house (in the middle of a major renovation- they had to move out for three months while workers added a mezzanine).
After lunch, they sent Manon to her room for awhile while they put together a tower of cupcakes. She was thrilled.
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