An American in Provence

TGV 6 am from Marseille to Lyon for a two-day conference about the recent caselaw in Europe and France concerning patents. This is conference held every year, one session in Paris (400+ participants) and one session in Lyon (~100 participants). This is the first time I have attended, and it is quite expensive (1000+ for two days, not including travel or hotel).
It is nice, I have met some new people and seen some from my course in Strasbourg two years ago.
But seriously, three and a half straight hours in a cramped conference room without even the space to install my laptop (and thereby actually follow the pages-long decisions), is kinda long. Plus all in rapid French, and even worse after lunch.
Went to dinner with a group of people and suddenly remembered it is Thanksgiving, which is one American holiday that the French are rather intrigued by. Do you give presents on Thanksgiving? No, not usually. What do you eat besides the turkey? Is it always the 22nd of November? Is Friday a holiday too?

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Sigh. I find it too hard to make here in France. (heck, I would find it too hard to make in the US too). And plus, Alain hates pumpkin pie. How un-american is that?! Jeez.

Joyeux jour de l'action de grace mes amis!!!

That's right. Fake Macaroni & Cheese powder, people.
Or, real Macaroni & Cheese powder, but not Kraft.
Anyway, good enough for the ex-pat really longing for some comfort food and way better deal than 5$ boxes of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

This is great stuff. 100 grams of Macaroni (slightly bigger macaronis than those in the Kraft box, but who am I to complain?), a bit of milk, butter, and three tablespoons of this powder, and there you have it, it's like being back in graduate school again. Or being left home alone while in High School. Or being baby-sat by your older sister.

After my sister went off to college, my mom made me macaroni and cheese and I cried. "I miss my Leah!!"

Alain isn't a fan. He wants real cheese. Geesh!

I usually make it when he is off at the karate class he teaches.
My only (minor) complaint is that sometimes it is has clumps that don't dissolve too easily, but seriously, if you want to raise mini Americans while overseas, you hafta buy this stuff.

ETA: For all those wondering, I think I (or my mom) bought it on Amazon.com (not .fr) and mom brought it over. Amazon won't ship it to France (radioactive?), but the company that makes it will (Barry Farms) will ship to France, but it is expensive. Best to con, I mean convince, someone to bring it over for you.
There are some other cheddar powders out there, but I haven't tried them.

In March, right after my exams, I am going back to the US for two weeks, alone (without the Frenchman that is). (And he keeps saying "How do I KNOW you are going to be staying with your parents and not some ex-boyfriend?" Trust me dear, my parents would not cover for me if I was staying with an ex-boyfriend)

It will be my first time back since December 2008.
I must say, I am really starting to miss the United States.
Don't have much planned, mostly shopping and relaxing.

But I keep having this reoccuring dream.

I am at my parents's house in Colorado, and I am packing my suitcase, getting ready to take the plane the next day to come back to France, when all of a sudden I realize...

I haven't had a single bagel in the whole two weeks I have been back!!!

OH MY GOD!!!

I wake up in a cold sweat and realize that I have not yet left for the US, I still have my exams to live through, and I will surely go to the grocery (yay, Safeway!) my first day back to stock up on Macaroni & Cheese, Starburst, and bagels.

It is very strange, I know.
It's not like I have been super bagel-deprived anyway. Had my fill of bagels while in Thailand (By the way, I'm still sore over the fact that my sister, in Thailand, leads a more American life than I do in France) and can get them regularly at Bagel Story in Aix (about 1.50€ a bagel but still). I can even make them for goodness sake.

So I'm guessing it is not the bagels themselves that are causing these dreams.
I have had this same dream about 3 times now, so it is definitely bugging me.

I guess it must just be a feeling of going back for such a short time, wanting to get my full Americaness in before I leave again for an indefinite amount of time.

Yesterday, one of the speakers for my Intellectual Property class introduced himself as follows (in French):
"I was born here in France and then emigrated to the US at the age of 15. I then went to college in the US and have been living there ever since."

I was surprised by his use of the term "emigrate". Of course, it is the correct term, but I have never considered that I have emigrated from the US, immigrated to France.

For all you other "immigrants" how do you feel? What do emigrate/immigrate mean to you?

At lunch, some of the other students and I discussed this term. Another woman, of Spanish origin and living in France for the past 15 years, had also noticed his use of the term. She had found it strange. Why not just use "moved"? or "went to live"?

We talked about the use of terms immigrate/emigrate, whether it implies (subconciously) a group of people fleeing a poorer country, looking for a better life in another one.

I think that the reason why I don't use emmigrate/immigrate in my head when thinking about coming to live here is that, for me, those terms imply a certain cutting of ties with the previous country. Like, you never plan to go back and that it really is permanent. Whereas "yeah, I came to live here for a couple years, who knows, we'll see, maybe one day we'll go back..." does not.

I guess I don't want it to be permanent. Not that I have any specific plans to move back, but I don't want to close that door.

Dictionary.com defines emigrate as:
to leave one country or region to settle in another; migrate: to emigrate from Ireland to Australia.

However, if we look at immigrate:
1. to come to a country of which one is not a native, usually for permanent residence.
2. to pass or come into a new habitat or place, as an organism.

Looking at what Wikipedia has to say on the matter, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emigration
"Motives to migrate can be either incentives attracting people away, known as pull factors, or circumstances encouraging a person to leave, known as push factors, for example:

Push factors
War or other armed conflict (no)
Famine or drought (well, there was one dry season in Virginia, but not enough to make me emigrate to another country)
Disease (aside from the occasional cold and allergies, no)
Poverty (I wouldn't have said no to a raise but I made enough for what I needed)
Political corruption (no comment)
Disagreement with politics (no comment)
Religious fundamentalism / religious intolerance (religious fundamentalism, well, sometimes those born again Christians can get scary, but as long as you don't let them in when they coming knocking you shouldn't have too much trouble)
Natural disasters (there was a slight rumble maybe a 3 on the Richter scale in VA once)
Discontent with the natives, such as frequent harassment, bullying, and abuse (no)
Discontent with immigration rate, causing frequent harassment, bullying, and abuse for home populations (no)
Lack of employment opportunities (certianly not - had easier time finding job in US than here)
Lack of various rights (no)
Goal of spreading one's own culture and religion (no- they already have McDonald's here)

These factors, excepting disagreement with politics and discontent with natives and immigrants, generally do not affect people in developed countries; even a natural disaster is unlikely to cause out-migration.

Pull factors
Higher incomes (definitely not)
Lower taxes (are you kidding me?)
Better weather (aside from the lack of snow in the winter, no)
Better availability of employment (heck no)
Better medical facilities (cheaper but not better)
Better education facilities (no- I don't care what they say, there is no way the bare-bones Université of Marseille can compete with University of Virginia)
Better behaviour among people (meh)
Family reasons (yes)
Political stability (about as stable as the US)
Religious tolerance (yes. Unless you are Muslim. Or Jewish. Or really anything else other than Catholic.)
Relative freedom (I suppose)
National prestige (I suppose- or at least the French like to think so)

So where does that leave me? Have I emigrated? Have you emigrated?

I've been here in France for over four and a half years now, and I have yet to find a French deodorant that works for me.
Anybody else have this problem?

A lot of people seem to have the idea that the French smell bad and don't wear deodorant, but they don't seem to smell any worse than any other random sampling of a population. Sure, sometimes on the Metro you will be squished up against someone that you wish you weren't, but that can happen anywhere.

French deodorants just DO NOT WORK on me. I don't know why.
First of all, the French seem to use a lot more deodorant sprays than sticks, and a lot more scented deodorants, and not so much anti-persperants.
Really, I don't want my underarms smelling like Vanille Gourmand, nor Vanille de Polynesie, nor anything at all really.

Every time we go back to the US, I buy about 15 deodorants- regular, plain sticks like Secret or Dove to bring back.
When they run out, I'm left with desperately searching for something that will work.
I think that French body chemistry must be different than American body chemistry, so French deodorants will not work for non-French.

If you are an American living in France and have found a French deodorant that works, what is it?
If you are an American living in the US, won't you please send your favorite ex-pat some deodorant so that she doesn't get kicked out of the country?
Thank you.


ETA:
- Looks like deodorant in France is hot-button topic.
- Thank you to those who have offered to send deodorant care packages.
- Also, I don't care if it is deodorant or anti-perseperant or a ham sandwich, as long as it works.
- As I don't want to post my personal address on the internet, I guess I will have to do without your kind offers, unless I have your email addresses.
- Also, I find it rather funny when deodorants advertize things like "48 heures efficacité!"
Um, I was kinda hoping to take a shower or two in that time period, and unless I am going camping for a weekend, I don't need 48 hours of deodorant protection, and if I am going camping, I don't think one layer of deodorant will do it. Just saying.

One thing that really amazes me about living abroad is how much the rest of the world is interested in the United States- national disasters, politics, sports, entertainment, etc.
The MSN France website yesterday had the American flag as the background.
When Hurricane Katrina was raging, it was on the news in France constantly. Yet Americans would say to me "Don't know if you have heard about the big Hurricane we are having..."
Yes! Can't get away from it in the French news! Americans for the most part don't seem to realize how much what they do affects and interests the rest of the world, for better or for worse.
Even if the French are complaining their little French heads off about America's politics, etc. they still can't seem to NOT talk about it, NOT watch it on the news, NOT be interested.
When I got home from work yesterday I watched the Inauguration Speech on the internet. I thought it was a very good speech and it moved me.
I haven't seen much of Obama's speeches, but I thought he did very well. The actual Oath of Office could have been better though- didn't they practice it beforehand? Was he just nervous?
Anyway, good luck Mr. President. The rest of the world is counting on you, perhaps more than you realize.

One thing that I love about the US is the breakfast food.
Let's do an objective comparison table between the breakfast foods of the US and of France, to see which country has the best breakfast food.
USA:
bagels with cream cheese
waffles with maple syrup, fruit, whipped cream, chocolate chips
pancakes
english muffins
omlettes
bacon
eggs
ham
sausage
cereal
oatmeal
French toast
toast
Biscuits
grits

France:
croissants


Am I forgetting something? What is your favorite breakfast food?

Alain concedes that waffles are "quite OK" but still holds out that croissants are the best and that nothing more is needed.
True that Americans cannot make croissants even if their life depends upon it, but there is such a plethora of other yummy stuff to eat.
I mean honestly, there is no contest.
When Alain and I first started dating, we would go to Sunday brunch together at the UVA dining halls. It was one of the highlights of my week.

If there is one thing I cannot stand, it is listening to other Anglophones speaking french. Argh! I know I sound like that (more or less) and it is awful.
At least the english-speaker's accent in French is considered by the French to be rather charming/upper class, but sometimes I just want to blend in. I suppose I can get away with mono-syllabels - "oui" "non" - but anything more involved than that and Bam! they know I ain't french.

The worst is the Rs. I just cannot pronounce them correctly for the life of me. I have sometimes had to resort to spelling the word I want to convey the meaning of.

Once, I was speaking on the phone at work and was saying four. (think I was ordering four of something)
Catruh!
Catruh!
Catruh!
Un, doo, twa, catruh!
He finally understood. My officemates just laughed.

When I was taking my french courses, I tried to record myself reading texts in French, then listen to myself. That lasted all of once. I just could not bear it. Ah! Turn it off! Turn it off!

Other Things I Have Learned:
1) Thou, as a foreigner, shalt not use slang terms. Ya just sound silly.
Imagine someone with a heavy German accent saying
"Yo man, I'ma gonna go rollin in my bangin' ride to hit on some chicks."
Doesn't work right? Makes you just want to laugh right?
well, same for Americans speaking in French- mec, truc, bagnole, flic, etc.
Stick to the normal words.

2) Thou, as a foreigner, shalt not swear.
You can be upset, but Putain merde! just doesn't quite have the same effect.
You can maybe get away with a "mince" or "bon sang" but that's about it.

3) Thou, as a foreigner, shalt not get overly angry and yell in foreign language.
Getting red in face, searching for your words, combined with accent and slang terms?
Doesn't work. You can have disagreements, but that is it. Otherwise, nobody will take your little temper tantrum seriously.
"Aww, look at the funny American. They are so cute when they get angry and try to yell in French."
Putain merde!

I sent in my absentee voter registration a few months ago and have been waiting to receive the ballot in the mail. So I was surprised when I received an email from the County Clerk with the ballot and instructions to be printed out. It was pretty simple- President/Vice-President, Representative, and Senator.Then had to sign and date the "security envelope" and have an adult witness and sign the security envelope so I made Alain sign it. I suppose he counts.

Put my ballot in the security envelope, taped it up, and sent it in.
Woohoo! I have done my civic duty.
For the 2004 election I stopped at the voting place early in the morning before going to work. I came out to my car and cried.
I felt so stupid. It was just the first time that I had ever voted in person and I was just overwhelmed for some reason. All the previous elections I had voted by absentee ballot for Colorado while I was away at college. Also, the other elections were not Presidential elections.
I have heard that they don't even bother counting the absentee ballots unless the margin of difference between the two candidates is less than the number of absentee ballots received; ie. if Candidate A is leading Candidate B by 500 votes and there are 501 absentee ballots, then they count the absentee ballots, but if there are only 499 absentee ballots, then they don't even bother.
Don't know if that is true, and I suppose it rather makes sense, but-
Nice to know that every vote counts and is counted!

The more I (sorta) learn another language, the more am I amazed at how many concepts, words, phrases, expressions etc. in one language don't (in my opinion) have a proper translation into the other language.

For example:
In English: lonely

I don't feel that there is really a good way in French to translate this concept.
Using the French-English dictionaries, I get
"I feel alone today"
"I am isolated"
"I am sad"

Well, I can be alone or isolated without feeling lonely. I can be lonely and sad, but sad isn't necessarily lonely, and lonely isn't necessarily sad.

Other translations given are: solitary, suffering from solitudness, desolate, and rarely frequented.

"I am feeling rarely frequented today". (wait, that doesn't sound right)

Other examples?

Message from the rest of the world to the US:

Get on with it already.
Don't you think over a year of campaigning is enough?
Just pick your darn candidates already.

At least here in France the vote narrows down the field (and by field we mean every political party, not just Democrat and Republican) to the top two vote winners, and then two weeks later the final is held. Not state after state of primary elections, followed by months of final campaigning. Plus, I think the bad thing about the US system is that the later the state is, the less the voters in that state are likely to vote their true opinion- their candidate is perhaps behind, so they figure "Why bother voting for him/her when there is no chance now that she/he will win?" If the primary election is held for the entire country on the same date, it seems more fair.

I voted in the "Democrats Abroad" Election, the result of which had a delegate count of Big Whoop and wasn't even covered in the US news, as far as I could tell.

Of all the candidates, I respect John McCain the most. He was my college graduation speaker.
However, I don't think I agree the most with his views/stances.

I have had to explain several times that No, there isn't going to be a final run-off for President between a female candidate and an African-American candidate. Yeah, all those news reports? Still haven't even gotten to the real thing. There is a half a year left of annoying non-stop coverage for your enjoyment.