An American in Provence

When I was going up to Strasbourg (2009-2010) on a regular basis, Alain bought a poker chip set and hosted several poker nights while I was away. Since then, the guys from his lab get together every few months or so. I have gone a few times, but it is usually on a work night, so we leave around 10:30 or so.

As it was our turn to host again, I suggested either Saturday night or Monday night, as today, May Day, is off. I wanted some time to straighten up the apartment, and not have work the next day, as I knew they wouldn't be leaving at 10:30.
(Let's go to bed so these nice people can go home)

We spent Saturday and Sunday straightening up, and bought chips, pretzels, sodas, beers, the works. About half of the guys who come are Muslim, so they don't drink beer.

Monday night I arrived home from work a bit before 7, so I prepared the tables, got out the extra chairs and cushions, and waited for their arrival.
Khalid, Alain's colleague, was the first to arrive. Alain's cousin Jérome then arrived and bought some PhD students from Alain's lab with him.
Khalid then realized he forgot to bring the poker chips and cards (last time, poker night was at his house). Whoops. Kinda hard to play without all that.
He didn't want to lose his parking spot, so he managed to convince Alain to go to his apartment on motorcycle, get the poker set, and bring it back.
So Alain took off, leaving me to entertain. We ordered pizzas, also not so easy in France in the company of Muslims, as they don't eat ham which includes about half of all pizza varieties. We finally settled on Norvegienne (salmon), Tartiflette (potatoes, onions, reblochon cheese, and normally ham but we asked that to be left off), provençale (mozzarella, tomatoes, Parmesan, garlic, and parsley), and Spécial Cissou (mushrooms, Roquefort, mozzarella, and egg).

Alain returned with the poker set, and we started to play. We don't play for money, just chips. The entire set of chips was divided out evenly amongst us. I won a few hands, which is rare for me.
About an hour later, everyone was wondering where the pizza was. I called, and they said they were running behind. Perfect. I've got 7 hungry guys playing poker in my apartment.

Another 30 minutes, and the pizzas arrived. Alain opened them up and starting cutting. When he got to the Spécial Cissou, he said "oh no! Look what they did to our pizza!" It was all crumpled up, like it got tipped over during the transport. In fact, it was a chausson (calçone). We started doling out the pizza slices, using the plastic plates left over from Alain's habilitation in March. This was actually an improvement over previous poker nights, when they just ripped up the covers of the pizza boxes to use as plates.

We kept playing and around 11:30 our buzzer rang. We looked in the hallway, but there was nobody. I guess it was someone down in the street. Either it was a passer bye who was just causing trouble ringing doorbells late at night, or more likely one of our neighbors complaining about the noise. Seriously?
Sure, the guys were talking loud, but
1) it isn't like we have people over every week
2) there was no music playing, and

most of all:
3) WE PUT UP WITH YOUR NOISE ALL YEAR ROUND!

Don't even have the courage to knock on our door and say "can you please keep it down"? Then screw you.

Anyway, we continued playing. Some people started getting large piles of chips, as others slowly dropped out. I was the fifth to drop out, followed by Alain. It was then between Khalid and Frédérico, with higher and higher stakes. Khalid finally won it all and everyone left, a bit before 1 a.m.

it was fun, but I was glad to not have to get up at 6 to go to work.

Happy May Day!

On Sunday, we had Alain's childhood friend Bertrand, his wife Isabelle, and their two daughters over for lunch.
The past several times (every six months or so) they have invited us over to their place, so it was our turn to reciprocate. Though, in our defense, they prefer that we come there, as it is easier for them with the kids. At least, that is what they say. So I'm sticking to that version.

Alain originally suggested Saturday or Sunday, lunch, dinner, or "gouter". They suggested Saturday lunch. I quickly made him retract his original offer- Saturday gouter, Saturday dinner, Sunday lunch, Sunday gouter, or Sunday dinner. They came back with Sunday lunch. Okay. I just could not handle getting the place clean, shopping for groceries, and preparing a meal between Friday end of work and Saturday lunch. Nuh uh.

So we spent all day Saturday going to the grocery store, doing laundry, and cleaning the apartment. Wow did it really need a good cleaning. In order to require a full day's worth of cleaning, 76 meters squared must be really messy. Well, Alain's back has been hurting, so he hasn't been able to broom and mop the floors. That is the official version.

Sunday morning, I woke up at 9 and immediately started baking- chocolate muffins for dessert, plus an entrée. Alain started making a chicken and mushroom dish around 11. They arrived just after 12, rugrats in tow.

We sat down for the aperitif, and someone spilled their glass of red wine on the tablecloth. Well, that has happened several times now. We mopped it up. That same person then knocked over the wine glass and broke it. Okay, how many have you had?

We had a bit of trouble getting everything ready at the same time, that's the trouble with a small kitchen I guess.

The kids of course refused to eat anything. We specifically told Bertrand- we are planning on having chicken and rice. Will they eat that or would you prefer we make ravioli or spaghetti for them? No, no the chicken and rice are fine. Nope, not fine. They each ate a bit of rice, lots of Pringles and coke, and vanilla ice cream.

The kids got tired of sitting at the table (rather quickly). Luckily, their parents had brought along a Dora DVD, so we plopped that in (on full blast).

After awhile, they got tired of that, so started coloring. Alain watched rather nervously as they approached HIS WALLS with their markers and crayons.

I think if we ever have kids, we are just going to have to bite the bullet. Take some fingerpaint, markers, and pastels; make some scribbles on the wall, near the bottom. Then take some spaghetti-sauce covered noodles and throw them at the wall, put some grubby handprints and footprint kick marks, plus maybe even some orange baby poop.

I just have to break him in to the idea of less than pristine walls. The man won't even let me hang pictures for goodness sake!

Anyway, they ran around and screamed for awhile, which didn't really bother me. Bothered the downstairs neighbors though, because after awhile we heard "boom boom boom". Ah well. We've had enough of their screaming (the wife) and shrieking (their grandkids) that they can put up with a bit from us every few months.

They left around 3:30 pm.

I've decided that we need to have people over at least every two weeks. Force us to clean the apartment on a regular basis. Also, maybe we will expand our culinary repertoire.

Here is my best friend from college, Rachel. We roomed together three years.

Saturday night we were invited to Alain's coworker's for raclette. (Hey, that's my easy to make when people come over fallback!)

I hadn't seen him and his wife since our trip to the waterpark in the summer. They have a little girl who will be two in February. Also invited were an Italian couple. He is doing his PhD in the same lab as Alain, and she is also doing studies here in Marseille.
Alain had invited the guys over for poker night several times while I was up in Strasbourg, but I had never met them.

We arrived a little after 6, two folding chairs in hand. For anyone who knows French people, 6 pm is rather early to start a get-together. I guess that is what having kids will do to you though.

They live at about 20 minutes walk from our place. We decided just to walk, even though it was cold, because we didn't want to deal with having to find parking at 11 pm.
Because Alain's colleague and his wife are Muslim, they don't drink alcohol (or at least, she doesn't and he doesn't when she is not around) so Alain bought some Champony. For anyone who doesn't know, it is a sparkling apple juice, often given to kids at holiday parties while all the French adults are tippling away at the champagne.

I had a stuffed elephant bought at Ikea a long time ago (right before Lucie, Alain's sister, informed us "No more stuffed animals as presents for Manon!") that I brought to give to their daughter, who was quite pleased.

We sat and talked for a few hours, then sat down for the raclette. I'm sorry but it just isn't the same with Coke instead of wine. After dinner, we had a tiramisu that the Italians had made and the Champony. We left at around 11 pm.
It was fun, but now I am out of ideas for what to make when they come over.

On Saturday, Alain and I went to visit one of his friends, Nicolas, and his girlfriend Sylvie. Nicolas and Alain were postdocs together in Virginia. Now they are living about three hours away in the southwest of France, near Narbonne. They just had a baby boy in July, so they invited us to come spend the weekend with them. The last time we saw them was in October, when they came to visit us here in Marseille, the week before we moved into our new apartment. We hadn't visited their home before and wanted to see the new baby.

(me holding Gabriel- probably the first baby I have held that didn't start screaming immediately)

On Saturday evening, Alain and I made a pilgrimage to Le Quillé with Olivier, Audrey, and Hanna. What is Le Quillé you ask? An ice cream store, what else?
It is located in the old town of Miramas, about 40 minutes away from Marseille. Internet site with pictures.
http://www.lequille.com/
Quillé, according to Olivier, means "perched" in Provençale. Indeed, it is quite perched on the top of the hill.
Apparently during summer it is very popular. You park at the bottom of the hill and hike up to the summit, where the glacier is. You try to delude yourself with thoughts of "I am burning off enough calories to eat this mound of ice cream, chocolate sauce, and brownies."
We got there around 9. We sat out on the terrace, but it was a little cold. When we first got there, we were the only ones there, besides the local cats. There were about three or four cats hanging out, and making strange cat noises at each other.
We ordered, I stayed faithful and got L'Americaine. (closest to viewer in picture above) It was two scoops of vanilla, two of chocolate, a brownie, some whipped cream, and sliced almonds. It was quite good. I was quite tempted though by the Irlandaise, which was Bailey's Ice cream, whipped cream, and Bailey's liquor. They make all of their ice cream and had some quite original flavors, such as Calisson (the almond paste candies from Aix en Provence) and licorice. The prices weren't too bad, around 8 euros each.
We later moved inside and had tea, leaving around 11.
(picture courtesy of Hanna).

I admit it, Frenchwomen intimidate me. Besides Alain's family and the girlfriends/wives of his friends, I know no frenchwomen. I guess it isn't all that surprising since I spent the last year at a all-foreign students school learning French and haven't been in a club or office setting where I would meet them.
But I think it is something more than that. When living in another country, I think there is a natural tendency to gravitate first towards others of your own nationality. As I know zero Americans in Marseille, I can't do that here. There is the Association of American Wives of Europeans, but that is mostly based in Paris. I am on their email list and chat boards, but it isn't the same as knowing them in person.
After that, I think people try to meet other foreigners. In a foreign country, other foreigners are in the same boat as you are- trying to learn the language, the customs and social graces. Don't want to make a fool of yourself mumbling something unintelligible to a group of Frenchwomen while wearing the wrong scarf. When I was studying in England for a semester, I hung out with 2 French, 1 Greek, 1 Italian, 1 Mauritanian, and 1 Zimbabwian. Instead of the other native English speaking (well, sorta) English! I guess we just understood each other better and all wanted to do touristy stuff, like visit Oxford instead of JUST drink beer there.
The final step is to make friends with the natives of whatever country you are in. It is more difficult to make myself understood because those who are used to the way I phrase things and my accents (God bless Alain's parents) understand what I am trying to say. Those who don't have "the ear" for my accent, such as those damn R's which I don't think I will get, keep asking what? what?
So just now I am starting to make tentative steps to meet frenchwomen. So far it has consisted of meeting one girl (today) to possibly go running together from time to time. How did I meet her you ask? Well, I have been posting bad-grammar messages on French chat boards, looking for people to go running together, hang out. (Yes, I do feel like a desperate loser. Please be my friend!) Unsurprisingly, the people who have responded have been those who have some sort of interest in English/the USA/living abroad, etc. No no! I want to practice my French! If I do get a job here eventually, I suppose I will meet more people.

www.foiredemarseille.com

On Sunday, Alain and I went with Olivier and Audrey to the Foire of Marseille, the Marseille Fair. This is not a normal, American-style city/county fair. No rides, very few games, certainly no livestock or pie baking competitions. It is mostly an expo of new home gadgets, swimming pools for sale, new couches, gyms in the area, etc. There are many international stands. It is quite odd to see Ecuador next to Vietnam. America was represented with one booth- cowboy clothes, a few Nascar items, and some Route 66 stuff. Sniff. I am so proud. Way to represent!
We got there around 11:30, took the Metro as it was easier than trying to find parking. There were a lot of people there as it was the last weekend day. It was from Sept. 22- Oct. 2, and it was the 82nd Fair of Marseille.
Alain and I went last year as well. We found some very good Italian chocolate, like truffles, so we wanted to buy more this year.
The entrance is 7.50 euros for adults, but this year we got in free because Olivier had free tickets. (Thanks Olivier!)
We walked around, had lunch (sandwiches on the go), I bought two lovely kashmir (IMO) scarves for a very good price, then we bought our chocolate (20 euros for 800 g- usually we split one or two flavors and share them for our evening tea-and-a-movie) . They have flavors like almond, coconut, hazelnut, Grand Mariner, etc.

It was so crowded that at a certain point you just get tired of being jostled and squeezing your way through. I brought my camera to take pictures but didn't take any at the fair because it would have just been uninteresting shots of people heads. We left around 3:30, took the Metro back, had tea and talked for awhile.

This weekend, Alain and I went to the 100% French wedding (versus the 75% of so French wedding that we had) of his friends Coralie and Sylvain nearby in the town of Hyères, where Lucie, Nicolas, and Manon are living.

When we woke up Saturday morning the sky was grey and intermittently raining. We hoped that it would get better later on. We left for Hyères around 9:45, taking the toll highway (3 euros in tolls). It took us a little less than an hour and half, but it would have been shorter if we had known exactly where we were going. Luckily, beach traffic wasn't too bad and besides a slight detour in Toulon we managed to find our way.

Lucie and Nicolas fixed lunch for us, and we played with Manon. The ceremony at the City Hall started around 3:30, so Nicolas dropped us off a little after 3. It was packed. As it was on a Saturday and in a bigger town, there were 12 weddings scheduled for the same day at the City Hall! It was strange because there were about 3 other brides in the area, waiting for their turn or having just got done. All the guests got mixed up and just as one group was finishing another would drive off honking and stuff. Alain met one of his old friends, Stéphane there. They did their Master's together in Marseille. I had been worried about not knowing anyone there and having to talk to complete strangers in French, but it turned out okay.

Coralie's dress was pretty, not sure what company made it, but it had sort of a pick-up look and no train. The bodice was covered in lace, and she had a piece of lace around her neck and lace gloves. Her bouquet was small white lilies, and she had fake ones in her hair. The groom wore a black suit and an ivory vest. The Mayor was a woman, which is the first time I have seen a female Mayor here.
It was interesting to see how different couples (and brides especially) react emotionally to different parts of the day. Like I got emotional when the Mayor pronounced us married, but them not at all. Whereas she got very emotional walking down the aisle, but I was fine up until the Prayer we had written.
Then we walked to the church, which was very pretty, but much more austere than ours was. It was made of brick or stone with stained glass windows and no paintings. The priest was much younger than ours was, and actually played the guitar and sang the Psalm, which was the first time I have ever seen a Catholic priest do that!

After the church ceremony, we walked back to Lucie's and had some water and rested before driving out to the reception. The reception was a very pretty area, way out in the countryside with vineyards all around.
The reception started at 7:30 (actually, we didn't know we were supposed to drive out with the whole group to the reception right after the ceremony to take pictures, so we showed up later and they all wondered where we had been.)

The cocktail hour was quite nice, then we went inside. There were fifteen tables, decorated relatively simply with a candleabra at each table and some rose petals sprinkled around. They had a Chinese theme as they are going to China for their honeymoon. Each table was named after a different city or monument in China.

The entree was a buffet and the main dish was leg of lamb. I took a picture of the menu so that I would be able to remember everything we had.

Between courses, one of their friends got up and did some magic tricks. Not sure if it was planned ahead of time or not, but it was a nice addition. He did one trick where he had the groom pick a card out of a deck (a 2 of hearts), and show it to the audience but not to him. Then he took a piece of newspaper and said that the newpaper would magically reveal what card was picked. He burnt a hole into the paper, and the burnt design developed into two hearts. Get it, get it?!
Around midnight they brought out the piece montee, shaped as a little house. I didn't really get to enjoy our piece montee as I had no appetite on our wedding night, so it was nice to try another one. We left around 2:30.
It was so nice to go to another wedding, especially so soon after ours. After their ceremony I joked to A. that we could run in the church and quick say our vows. He said "not with this priest!". We danced a lot more than at our own wedding. It was fun. We left around 2:30 am to drive back to Lucie's for the night. The next day we played with Manon, ate breakfast, then lunch, then left around 3 to drive back to Marseille. (Below, Alain in his suit, the second time in less than a month. For someone who wears jeans and t-shirt every day to work, this is quite remarkable.)