An American in Provence

I found a place near where I work called L'Atelier des Chefs. They offer cooking classes, from half an hour to several hours.
website

Desperately needing to increase my recipe repertoire, I decided to give it a try.

It is perfect for me because their lunch formula is 15€ and includes their chef teaching you a main dish, then you eat what you made, and they provide a dessert, bread, and sometimes a glass of wine and/or coffee (I guess depending upon how much it cost them for the ingredients for the lunch).

The first time I went, I wasn't quite sure what to expect.

I had chosen the "Saumon mi-cuit en croûte de pavot, fondue d'épinards et tomates cerises cerises confites et acidulées" (half-baked salmon with poppy seeds on a bed of spinach with cherry tomatos).

There were 5 other students, and one chef. All the ingredients were already measured out and washed, and he showed us what to do, and then we went at it.

We juiced an orange, removed the stems from the spinach leaves, cooked the cherry tomatoes, lightly fried the salmon, rolled it in poppy seeds and put it in the oven, then cooked the spinach leaves while the cherry tomatos were being carmelized.

It was quickly finished, and we decorated our plates and then took them to the table. It was quite good, though I would have preferred fully-cooked salmon.

Last Saturday, I bought the ingredients and tried it out at home for Alain. It took a bit longer as I had to prepare everything myself of course, but it was fairly quick.

It was very good, if I do say so myself. (and I do).

Alain liked it too, but didn't like the poppy seeds quite as much as I did.

However, when people come over, it is something I can now make.

I went again this week, and this time about 12 German exchange students were taking the class. It was a bit crowded.

This time we made "Gambas rôties flambées au cognac et à l'estragon, mouseeline de chou-fleur" (roasted gambas flambéd with cognac and a cauliflower purée).

Some of the kids didn't want to touch the raw shrimp, too bad, none for you then.
I haven't yet made it at home, I am a bit scared of lighting the thing on fire in our kitchen, which does not have a hood.

Anyway, I am trying to go once a week. I pick the recipe that appeals to me the most on their website and reserve online. They seem to do a lot of fish, I guess because it cooks quickly.

Here are the recipes if anyone is interested:
Salmon
Gambas

A few weeks ago, I made some bread using our bread machine.

We only ate about half of it, so I put the rest in a tupperware container, and well, rather forgot about it.

About a week and a half later, I opened it up, and this is what I found
Appetizing n'est ce pas?

I have never seen such hairy-looking mold before. (and believe me, I've seen a lot of mold)

I had to take a picture for posterity.

A few days ago, taking a quiche out of the oven, I found this at the bottom:





Nice huh? And no, it's not chocolate. It is a carbonized mini muffin.

The last time I made mini muffins? Sometime around February.

This puppy has been sitting at the bottom back of my oven, going through endless baking cycles, for MONTHS.

Alain kept saying, "It smells like something is burning."

Sigh.

It's been one of those years.

A few months ago, while browsing aimlessly at local bookstore, I found a recipe book entitled "Bagels, Comme à New York" and bought it. Here is the explanation on the back as to what exactly, to the unenlightened Frenchperson, of what a bagel is:

"Petits pains ronds troués, pochés dans l'eau bouillante et cuits au four, à garnir de multiples façons pour faire comme à New York. En version salé : poissons fumés, fromages frais aromatisés maison, oignons rouges, pickles, pousses de toutes sortes, houmous etc. En version sucrée : beurre de cachuète, apple butter, fromages faris aux fruits rouges, etc."

You will notice some odd things about the above paragraph:
1) pickels. (not translated)
2) peanut butter used as a promotional item for French
3) Apple butter (not translated)

The book also has a section on donuts: "Beignets ronds troués et recourverts d'un glaçage fondant, glacagé traditionnel au sucre, ou bien au chocolat, à la cannelle, à la vanille."

Missing the bagels from Bodo's from my time in Virginia, and not being able to find decent bagels in France (besides the ones from the Bagel Story) I decided to try to make my own.

It took me awhile to gather necessary ingredients (still have no idea where to find Cassonade or Gluten de Blé in the nearby Casino grocery store, but hey, when cooking, "When in doubt, go without" right? No?)

Decided I would start with the most basic (n°1 - le classique) and leave the mixing up to my new best friend, my bread machine, and after adding the flour, molasses, salt, water, yeast, and olive oil. Left out: gluten de blé and farine de mais, but as the gluten was marked 'facultatif' (optional) and the farine de mais was only a pincée, I figured I could do without (we shall see).

(If anybody knows where I can find these items, or what they look like, it would be a big help. The workers at the store just look at me like I am an alien when I ask them "Gluten de Blé"?)

Twenty minutes later, after the mixing stage of the bread machine's program 1, I pulled out what could well pass for a rubber soccer ball and started forming the bagels (divide into ten equal balls, roll out and shape into bagels, place on baking sheet). Let them rise for about two hours (didn't rise a whole lot), then filled my largest pot with boiling water, to which I added molasses, salt, and fécule de pomme de terre (just looked it up- potato starch).

Stuck three bagels at a time in the boiling water, and let them boil on each side for about a minute before fishing them out.

With ten bagels my baking sheet was quite full- next time I make bagels I might well cut the recipe in half, also, I don't know how quickly I can eat ten. Quickly, but not that quickly.

Baked them for about 30 minutes and let them cool.



Now I just need to figure out how to make all the toppings- the book has recipes for Apple Butter, Houmous, etc. Other suggestions given by the book: Nutella, almond butter, lemond curd, honey, and marmelade.

I love this explanation for peanut butter and jelly:

Beurre de cachuètes : Les petits Américains en raffolent, surtout avec de la gelée
(little americans are crazy about it, especially with jelly)
Gelée de rainsins : Le partenaire du beurre de cachuètes dans le fameux "PB&J" (Peanut Butter and Jelly)
(peanut butter's partner in the famous PB&J)

That's for sure.

Verdict: Not bad for my first attempt.
Alain's comment: Where are the holes?
My response: Oh hush!

Here are the muffins I made on Sunday.

2 ripe bananas and several cups of maple syrup, and they come out tasting like banana bread in muffin form, with no hint of maple syrup. (though I did put a sugar-maple syrup glaze on some, as you can see). Used up almost a whole bottle of maple syrup, which is darn expensive and hard to find here, so that was a waste.

Alain's comment?

"Is it like, the stuff from the nose?"

No dear, that's mushed banana inside.

Ah well, it wasn't a hit with him. He keeps asking for blueberry and I keep telling him I can't FIND any blueberries at this time of the year, not even frozen.

In other news, thank you all for your comments about my blog. Is the text readable? I am afraid it might be hard to see on the background.

One of Alain's fondest memories of the United States is...

The muffins in the IBM cafeteria.

The last time we were in the US, Christmas 2008, I bought a 6-cup silicone muffin pan and a book of Muffin recipes (it came as a set).

Finally got around to trying some of the muffin recipes.

Last week it was "Raspberry-White Chocolate".
Took in 12 to my work, and they disappeared quite quickly, though everyone kept thanking me for the "gateau". No! It's not a gateau you silly French! It's a muffin! ("Moo-ffeen" in french.)

This weekend I am going to try "Banana-Maple".
I can see that the 6-muffin pan will be largely insufficient and need to invest in more regular size, mini, and large muffin pans.

Gotta keep my Frenchman happy.

As requested, here is the recipe:

Raspberry and White Chocolate Muffins:
For 12 regular size muffins
1 cup of white chocolate chips
1/4 cup butter
2 cups self-rising flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup milk
1.5 cups fresh or frozen raspberries
confectioner's sugar, for dusting

Preheat over to 400F (200C).
Grease muffin pan or use muffin cups (or silicone tray)
Melt half the chocolate chips and butter
Combine flour, sugar, and remaining chocolate chips
Combine eggs, milk, and butter/melted chocolate in other bowl, then pour into first.
Pour in raspberries
Spoon batter into muffin molds, bake about 20 minutes until golden brown.
Dust with confectioner's sugar if desired.

I must say I didn't use white chocolate chips, impossible to find here.
Just bought a bar of white cooking chocolate, broke it up into bits.

Turned out very good!

Once in a while, usually on Sunday afternoons while I am putzing around the apartment looking for something to do other than clean while Alain either works on the apartment or naps on the couch, I get an urge to cook.

Many moons ago, on a pilgrimage to the Casino in Lambesc (thanks Poppy Fields!) I snagged a box of pancake mix, syrup, a small French size box of Oreos (yeah, that was gone in about a day- seriously, why put only four oreos in each packet?!), bagel chips, and Pepperidge Farm cookies.
Since then, I have been subjecting Alain to my pancake attempts.
I am convinced there are three requirements in order to make good pancakes (in descending order of importance):

1) be a mother
2) be a woman
3) be American
My mom's pancakes? Fabulous.
Mine? So-so.
A french mother's? Could be good with practice.
A French man's? Not even a chance.

My first few attempts were horrendous- thick slabs, burnt on the outside and still raw on the inside.
I diligently kept at it, to the point where Alain would whimper every time I took the box out of the cabinet, and say:
"Why can't we just have croissants today?" Because!
Or: "Why can't you make pancakes like your mother?"
Because dear, I don't have the final ingredient yet: kids of my own.
Or: "It's not possible, you cannot be American and make such terrible pancakes!" Do you want to be hit with the spatula?

He finally figured it out: "You are just practicing on me for when we have kids!"
Um, duh? Three years of marriage and you're just figuring out now that all of my cooking is practicing on you?

Towards the end of the box, they were getting more or less eatable, except for the occasional "Watch out dear, there is part of an eggshell in one of the pancakes. Just think of it as a galette des rois. Enjoy!"
The box is now finished. Don't know when I will be able to find another. Might have to make another pilgrimage the next time I am in the area.

Maybe one day I will attempt pancakes with actual flour and baking soda and stuff. But I think I need a few more rounds of pre-made pancake mix.

Making muffins is something I am inordinately proud of.
While we were in the US Alain discovered muffins. Or, as it is translated in French "un muffin".
While shopping at Barnes&Noble, I bought a Muffin book with recipes and a silicone muffin mold for 6 muffins. This is good because it is impossible to find muffin paper cups here.
I brought back two boxes of muffin mix, banana nut and wild blueberry.
Each time I have measured out half of the mix, and made 6 muffins.
This is about the level of my cooking skills folks-
take muffin mix. Stir in 1/8 cup of vegetable oil, one egg, and 1/4 cup milk. Spoon into muffin pan. Bake for about 20 minutes. Voila!
Heaven knows what will happen when I run out of muffin mix.
I might actually have to start making them from scratch.
Someone has turned into quite a muffin-head.
This is something that I can't figure out why the French don't seem to stock in their grocery stores. Strange animal parts- yes. Horse meat- yes. Tripe- yes.
Something that actually tastes good like muffin mix or Oreo cookies- no. Heaven forbid!

Week 1: Attempt to make "Tiramisu of Macarons and Raspberries"
Step 1: Search all over for macarons, in several different stores. Decide that since the book is split up into sections according to type of biscuits used ("spoon" biscuits, madeleines, rose biscuits of Reims, gingerbread, macarons, and other biscuits) it would be okay to substitute madeleines for the macarons.
Step 2: Laugh at the directions which say total preparation time: 5 minutes. Are they joking? I can't even assemble all of the ingredients in my kitchen and put the water on to boil in 5 minutes.
Step 3: Attempt to make the raspberry syrup with frozen raspberries and watch as it comes out way too liquidy.
Step 4: Mix together the mascarpone (which was found at the third store) with the three egg yolks and cream. Beat it together and marvel at how it doesn't become firm like the book says it will.
Step 5: Layer everything in the pan. Instead of being nice defined layers, it all just kinda mushes together.
Step 6: Sigh and vow to do better next week.
(Total time: about 45 minutes)
Lessons learned: Try not to substitute stuff. Use the correct cream.

Week 2: Attempt to make "Belle-Hélène Tiramisu" (chocolate and pears)
Step 1: Search all over creation for Amaretto. Shopkeepers have no idea what you are talking about. Amaretto! Amaretto! The Italian liqueur for Tiramisu! Heck, I am American and even I have heard of it before!
Step 2: Search for a different recipe that doesn't require Amaretto.
Step 3: Buy the ingredients for "Bananas and Passion Fruit Tiramisu".
Step 4: What the heck is passion fruit nectar? Syrup? Liqueur? Extract? No clue. Decide to skip the passion fruit.
Step 5: Finally find Amaretto (hint: Disarrono) at the 4th store. Go back to original plan.
Step 6: Haul all the ingredients over to in-laws because you are having dinner there.
Step 7: Forget all about that solemn vow you made last time that you would always try a recipe out on CMH before serving it to others.
Step 8: With MIL's help, finally make something resembling the recipe. It helps to have the right cream too. However, cream is still not firm and is yellow instead of white.
(Total time: again, about 45 minutes, with two of us working)
Lessons learned: It is very hard to cook in someone else's kitchen. Just use whipped cream next time. (Forgetting solemn vow made previous week to not substitute ingredients).

Result: Turned out not too bad. Think next time I will use pear liqueur.

Picture below: What it is supposed to look like. Now, I know that pictures in recipe books are 99.5% unreproducable, but I would like to think that one day I might be able to get my Tiramisu's to be less runny and more layered.
Up next week: Banana Tiramisu, with or without nectar de fruit de la passion.

Can someone please share with me the secret to getting the crème liquid to do what it is supposed to do?

Well, here it is. The better (tasting) of the two loaves I made. I took the better looking one to Alain's parent's, not having tasted either of them. Since they were so thick and I used so much flower, they weren't completely cooked. Josée, bless her heart, tried to save it (like she did with my apple pie attempt) by putting it in her REAL OVEN longer, but it just turned out like burnt biscuits. Sigh. I think the problem was I didn't let the dough rise enough, and I added too much flour (about two times as much). Not having made bread before, I wasn't sure what the dough was supposed to feel/look like, so I just kept adding flour. Whoops.
On a happier note, I finally found baking soda today. Bicarbonate. I had to ask one of the stockers, repeating myself several times. Luckily, I didn't have to resort to pidgin French and wild hand movements. It was over with the salt. Why don't they put all of the baking items together? No idea. Still haven't found baking powder. If anyone knows what that is in French, please tell me.
The French seem to be very suspicious people. Everytime I go through the checkout, I have to show my bag or purse. Yes, because I am going to put $40 of groceries on the belt and steal five apples. It seems to be equal opportunity suspicion, as old ladies, young boys, everyone seems to be asked to show their bag. Do you want me to turn out my pockets too?
Alain and I are invited over to his aunt's for Sunday lunch. I think I won't attempt any of my creations. Or at least I will make one the day before and see how it turns out before inflicting them on anymore of his relatives. I do want to be invited back you see.

This just in- I found it! Hahahaha.
http://www.beyond.fr/food/eng_french_food_dict_1.html
baker's yeast levure de boulanger
baking powder levure chimique : One "sachet" (11g packet) is about 2 teaspoons.
baking soda bicarbonate de sodium

I must say that I feel quite gratified that I am not the only foreigner in France with this problem.
From the blog Accidentally French

Whether it is due to getting married or living in France, my barely existent what may pass as domestic skills have been stirred.
After the, ahem, interesting attempts at apple pie were managed, I decided to make cinnamon bread today.
Only I didn't know that it would be enough for an army.
I found a recipe online. I was searching for something that doesn't require baking soda or baking powder, as apparently those are not available in France. I finally found one. I was actually able to convert into metric units (yay allrecipes.com !), which was nice. I should have however read the rest of the recipe. Rolling pin? Nope. Argh. Alain, do we have a rolling pin? Nope. But we do have wine bottles. We emptied out one and used it for rolling. The dough didn't seem to want to rise. I hope that what I put in there was yeast. The raisins we had are as hard as rocks, so I decided to leave them out too. So, two kgs of flour later, I was ready to put the un-rised dough into a greased pan. Greased with what? Butter? Olive oil? Vegetable oil? I took a guess at vegetable oil. We shall see. It turns out that the bread pan that I bought is about 1 cm too big to fit into our toaster oven. Perfect.
I am taking my creation over to Alain's parents tonight.
Maybe I should buy a bread machine.
And figure out where in the world I can buy baking soda and powder.

I think that in our new place we will need to install a kitchen, kind-of like the self-cleaning toilets. You step out, close the door, push a button, and WHOOSH! the place is immediately hosed down and drains through a hole in the floor. Forget aprons, I need one of those suits that people where when they go into class 5 infectious disease areas, covered from head to toe.

Creativity- Terrific quality for a good cook. Terrible quality for a bad cook.

And now, starring my favorite chef, making dough.

Today I am going over to visit Alain's parents, Jacques and Josée for lunch. Alain is gone for a week for work. I proudly announced that I would bring a dessert. Jacques said "Oh no, don't worry, you don't have to..." which now that I think about it, could have been French for "Oh god please no spare us!!!!!!"
As the cooking urge doesn't strike me very often, when it does hit, I figure I just have to run with it because there is no tellng when it may come back again.

So I found a recipe off the internet for "The Best All-American Apple Pie Recipe". Okay, that will work. American apple pies are different than French ones because 1) they are covered with a top crust and 2) lots and lots of cinnamon, which the French seem to generally regard with suspicion and mistrust.
I went to the nearest Intermarché to find the ingredients for my apple pie. And promptly spent about half an hour gazing stupidly at the sugar/flour section. What the heck is Cornstarch in French? In fact, now that I think about it, what the heck is cornstarch? I could have asked someone for help, but wasn't sure exactly what to say. "You know, 'cornstarch'? 'Cornstarch'? Oh heck, I don't know how you call in French, it's uh, white, I think, and powdery... No, not flour!" After giving up baking powder and cornstarch as lost causes, I wandered over to the spice section in seach of nutmeg.
Oh drat, what is nutmeg? I was hoping it would be the same name. Don't know why I thought that. Conversation with myself..

Me: Self, what does nutmeg look like?
Self: I don't know, a sort-of brownish powdery thing right?
Me: Yeah, I guess you are right. It has been a really long time since we made an apple pie. What does nutmeg look like in it's natural state?
Self: Beats me. I figured it grew in those little spice bottles.
Me: Well, here is brownish nut thing. That could be it. What does a Meg look like?
Self: Don't know, but we especially should know this don't you think?!
Me: Well, considering we wouldn't know it by taste or smell, I think we should just give up.

Turns out, when I checked it out online later, the bottle I thought it was, mouscade, was right. Oh well.

So considering I had no idea whether the flour was pastry flour or bleached all-purpose flour, there was no way I was finding baking powder, cream cheese, or cider vinegar, I gave up the idea of making my own crust and decided to buy a ready-made. There are two kinds- feuillette (flaky) and brisée. No idea what brisée is, but knew I didn't want the flaky one, so I bought two of the brisée and hoped for the best. I was just hoping it wasn't some sort of pizza crust or the like.

Considered the rest of my recipe for the filling-
Raisins? Who the heck puts raisins in an apple pie? That is just plain un-American. Out with the raisins.
Lemon juice? No way.
Cornstarch? Nope, don't have that either.
Nutmeg? Nope.
Brown sugar? Well, the sugar has a hint of brown color, that will have to do.

Came home determined to find a different American Apple Pie recipe, one without the above ingredients.
Finally found one that sounded about my level, Easy Apple Pie. Yeah, here we go.

Get all prepared to start measuring things out and realize-
Hey wait a minute. This is an American recipe. Which means that all the measurements are in the wacked-out English system of which, I have no measuring cups or spoons. Darn. Hmm, well I can convert the measurements into metric.
Here all the recipes are given in weight and soup spoon/coffee spoon, which I hope are the rough equivalents of table and tea spoons.
So I convert the cups into mL but have only Alain's protein shaker thing that has the mL marked on the side.
" 'Between 1/3 and 2/3 of a cup of sugar'?! Oh thanks for being really precise there!!!"

So I set off, peeling and cutting my apples- one recipe said 6, other said 8, I bought seven, cut up five and needed about 3. Whenever peeling, cutting, and general cooking skills were being passed out, I must have missed them because by the fifth apple my hand was killing me and I was ready to chuck them all out the window.

So I finally get the sugary cinnamony nutmeg-less apple mixture into the two pie crusts in the teeny tiny pan, shove it into our toaster oven and wait. After about two minutes the crust is brown, by ten it is starting to burn. Drat. I think it is supposed to cook only from the bottom right? Well, not an option with our toaster oven. I just hope the bottom crust is cooked and not a gooey mess still.

When I told Alain I was fixing an apple pie for his parents, he said
"Please try not to poison them. We might still need them..."
We shall see. Maybe I will buy some vanilla ice cream, cover the re-heated apple pie in that, and hope for the best.