An American in Provence

For two weeks now, I have been struggling with a decision between two very different things. I am usually not an indecisive person. I can usually draw up a list of pros and cons, decide which of the pros are more important to me, and make a gosh darn decision. But when the two options are so different, it can be hard to really compare them. Also, it was a choice of the bird in the hand versus the two in the bush. Or in French "Un tiens vaut mieux que deux tu l’auras" one that you have is worth more than two you will have. But what if it is not?



These two weeks have seen me seesawing between the two, so much so that everyone else around me is sick of hearing about it. I wish someone would just tell me what to do.
I tried flipping coins. Not so much so to let the flip of the coin tell me which decision to take, but rather to observe my own reaction at each result.
Then I tried giving weighted points to each of the pros and cons.
Either way I choose, some people will be disappointed.
My mind was made up one way, and my heart the other. Every time I think I have made my decision, it changes back to the other.

Imagine that you finally make a decision, based on your best analysis of all the information you had at the time. It turns out to not be the best decision for you.
Would you rather know that it wasn't the best decision, but at least NOW YOU KNOW, or would you rather not know, and always live in the uncertainty of "Was this the best for me? I'll never know"?

I am thinking of signing a waiver along the lines of "I recognize that I was not capable of making this decision, so I hereby authorize my husband, Dr. Alain xxx residing at ........ to make the decision for me. I further absolve him of all blame if in the future I am unhappy with the decision I forced him to make. Signed and dated, Megan."