An American in Provence

Double take, Cat calls, Wolf whistles, Hey Baby want to (verb) my (noun)?



As far as I have seen so far, there seems to be less of this going on in France than in the US. Of course, I haven't walked past any construction sites lately.

But it seems to be more of the non-verbal kind, not phrases or demands. (Or it is and I am just blissfully unaware linguistically).

Though there was a time that I walking with my sister in law, and we walked past a group of, I am guessing, teenage boys. They were calling out things like "Hey how are you doing? Talk to us" We ignored them, then the comments changed to umm, well, name calling. (I didn't know this at the time, she explained it to me when we had moved away.)

So gentlemen- be respectful. Don't do it in front of your lady. Don't do it at work. Don't, in fact, say anything. While you might be quite pleased to hear "Hey big fella" a) it isn't going to happen and b) that doesn't mean women want to hear the same from men.

As I have been going to job interviews lately, I am more dressed up than usual. And by usual I mean sweats. I have received some honks, which I assume were meant for me as there was nothing else obvious that they could be honking at. A couple of double takes, and a few Wooh!s.

Though this could be as much due to my coloring (blond hair, blue eyes) as everything else. This area is mostly a dark haired, dark eyed region. Haven't gotten any spontaneous marriage proposals yet but was discussing with the men working on the apartment below us. They asked if I was married, said yes, then said they should have figured with my blond hair and blue eyes. Yes, I did step on to French soil and ensnared the first sap who came along. (hard to come off sarcastic online)

I think any woman who says that she hates getting noticed is either lying or deceiving herself. As long as it is somewhat tame and subtle (honks, double takes) I think most women feel secretly flattered. Once men stop complimenting you as you walk down the street in your best, then you notice that they don't and wish they would again. But if every day on your way to work you are bombared with gross requests, then I can see where it would be a problem (and you might want to take another way to work.) Or at work is bad too. I suppose everyone has different comfort levels but to me the following are acceptable at work: "You look nice today" "I like what you have done with your ----" or "That is a very nice ----- (hairstyle, outfit, shoes (haha like men would notice shoes) or piece of jewelry)". Notice I did not include body parts in that list. "That sweater really brings out the color of your eyes" is okay. "That skirt really brings out the hotness of your legs" is not.

That doesn't mean I only want to be thought of as a ornament and not be respected for my acheivements and abilities. Looks alone may get some people jobs (not me) but you gotta have something more that.

If anyone, man or woman, has a different opinion or would like to share an experience, please feel free to comment.